Selfishness and Pride. (part 1)

(written April 23rd)
4 am... that's when I finally fell asleep last night. I had a bit of a revelation about myself. I am about a hundred times more selfish and prideful than I thought I was.

I think about myself way too much, and about others way too little. I'm naturally introverted and quiet, so it has been very easy to hide my selfishness behind a cloak of shyness... even from myself. I've isolated myself at times, ignored phone calls because I just couldn't be bothered to care about whoever it was on the other end of the line at that time. I pulled away from people to keep from getting too involved in their lives or them in mine. I procrastinated and procrastinated for about 4 months on something that was very important to a friendship. I retreated into my own little world when my husband needed me in his. And I have no idea when the last time I talked to my Granny was.

It seems that the times I have felt lonely are my own fault. If I am going to change this, it'll have to be on purpose. I'm gonna have to exercise some discipline, schedule it even, times to make phone calls and go visit people and get out of my little shell.

I'd like to send a big thank-you to all my friends and family who have been so wonderful to me. I don't deserve you, you are a blessing from God.